A few weeks ago, before my babies' births, I wrote about wondering if I would do this all again if I knew how it would turn out. I wasn't sure that I would.
I have loved more than I knew possible. I have endured the physical pains that inaugurate you into motherhood. And I have suffered the greatest sadness.
Now that I have lived through pain, joy, and uncertainty, I know my answer really is Yes.
Yes, Spyder is gone from this world. Our families suffered from his death. Poppy has spent more than three weeks now in the NICU; we don't know when she'll actually come home. I am still physically recovering from a tough delivery and waiting on the medical bills to start rolling in. But, I would never trade that hour I had with my son for anything, and every time I look in Poppy's eyes, I know this was all worth it.