Welcome to the Blue Butterfly Blog

Thousands of families suffer in silence from the loss of a pregnancy or an infant. My struggle is just beginning. I carried twins to term knowing that only one would survive. This is the story of my journey through shock, devastation, grief, anger, and hopefully someday acceptance. I know that other families are desperate to know that they are not suffering alone. This is for them.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Belly Gets Showered

It has been two months today since we found out about Spyder's condition. I can't believe how fast time seems to be going, though in the beginning it felt like time was standing still and we'd never be able to move forward.

I'd say that Brad and I are doing okay today. We have already been through so much and there is much more to come. But, we have a huge team of family, friends, and medical professionals that are helping to lead us through.

I still have many bad days. In fact, for the past week, I've been in a rough place. We have to start making tough decisions and think about the future.

But, today was a good day. My friends at work threw me a shower. Well, they actually termed it "fetus party" because some of them get a little uneasy when we talk babies!

The babies can almost taste the sugar from where they are.

It had taken a while for me to decide whether or not I should have a shower or any sort of other acknowledgement at work. I was too sad when we found out about Spyder to want to celebrate anything. I was (and still am to a major extent) angry that Brad and I were robbed of the joyous pregnancy experience that so many talk so fondly of. Countless women have said how much they loved being pregnant. I want to feel that way, too.

So, my wonderful friends are helping to bring the fun back into this baby-bearing time. We celebrated my babies and my pregnancy today. They put together a comfort food potluck complete with homemade noodles, venison stew, mashed potatoes and SO much more. There was cake, a beautiful card with notes from my colleagues, and even a special retiree with whom I had grown so close. It was fun, truly fun.

Though the photo doesn't reflect it, I was so happy to see my dear friend, Tom, today.

Jen and me, the toughest girls I know! And yes, I am stuffing my face...

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

1 comment:

  1. So sad I missed this, but can't wait to see you this week!! I;ve missed the DOW!! So happy that you enjoyed yourself! See you soon!!