Take this photo for example. On a warm summer day, my husband and I came upon this blue common buckeye butterfly gliding and sunning with its more typical counterpart. We were struck by it.
By this time, we knew we were pregnant with twins. The individuality of these two insects so closely related hit close to our hearts. Our little ones would be siblings, but each would have his or her own little personality, passions, and potential.
It was two more glorious months before we knew that our little blue butterfly would not fly on through his life.
Right now, the butterflies that I know come in the form of little kicks and twists inside my belly as my babies practice for their lives outside the womb. My son and daughter flutter as if they are both healthy and preparing for the world. But, this is not the case.
We will lose our baby boy. My husband and I are waiting for his birth and death like a butterfly awaits the first murderous frost. This is our story. This is our journey as we carry our twins to term, knowing only one will be coming home with us. I am not writing for pity or to make readers feel sad. I am writing in hopes that there are mothers and fathers who understand our devastation and might find some comfort in knowing that they are not alone - no matter how desolate they feel.