Welcome to the Blue Butterfly Blog

Thousands of families suffer in silence from the loss of a pregnancy or an infant. My struggle is just beginning. I carried twins to term knowing that only one would survive. This is the story of my journey through shock, devastation, grief, anger, and hopefully someday acceptance. I know that other families are desperate to know that they are not suffering alone. This is for them.



Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Easter Sunday

On Easter we visited Spyder’s grave. It was the first time we’ve been back since the funeral because it is in Sandusky at Brad’s family’s church.

I was immediately overtaken with sadness when I got out of the car at the church. We had come from family and fun and suddenly we were standing in the cold cemetery. Brad said it was good that Spyder was out of the bitter wind.

The site had been well cared for. Grass is starting to grow back so you can only faintly see the outline of the hole that was dug nine long weeks ago.  The decorative stone that says “those we hold in our arms for a short time are held in our hearts forever” still sits where a gravestone soon will. Brad’s parents put a decorative butterfly alongside it. I tucked a tiny, blue stuffed Peep under the stone. Poppy has the purple one.

Then we said goodbye again. We picked up Poppy and headed back to Columbus. That was our first Easter as a family.

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