Welcome to the Blue Butterfly Blog

Thousands of families suffer in silence from the loss of a pregnancy or an infant. My struggle is just beginning. I carried twins to term knowing that only one would survive. This is the story of my journey through shock, devastation, grief, anger, and hopefully someday acceptance. I know that other families are desperate to know that they are not suffering alone. This is for them.



Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Best Birthday Ever

Today is my birthday. I got the greatest gift of all this year- my baby girl is home with me.

We brought Poppy home from the NICU last Saturday. I admit that I was truly terrified as the patient service assistant wheeled her out of the secured area, down the elevator, and to the front door of the hospital. It felt like four weeks of nurses and doctors, anxiety and smiles, setbacks and progress had passed in the blink of an eye.  All that waiting was worth it.

Brad and I loaded our tiny baby into the car and headed away from the hospital for the last time.


Poppy cuddles with her Grammi at our house!

At the NICU, Poppy was on a pretty strict schedule, and we are supposed to try to maintain that. So, on Saturday night, we got to give her a bath all on our own. For the first time, I felt like I was taking care of my own baby.


Yes, it's Rubbermaid - but it's straight from the hospital . . .

Of course, Poppy's homecoming was bittersweet. We should have brought home two babies. Everything we had prepared should have been doubled, and we should be twice as tired. But, Spyder is never coming home. It is very, very clear to me now. It is the "three of us" from here on out. But we will always find ways to celebrate him!



My first Pandora charm. Thank you, Brad!

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