"You're not healing correctly." This is not what I wanted to hear from my OB at my postpartum appointment, though I was not surprised. Spyder definitely left his mark on my delivery. I will spare you the details, but I am not recovering as well as I should and it's been seven weeks. In fact, if things don't improve, I may need a procedure to make some repairs.
Here is part of the issue. Breastfeeding lowers the amount of estrogen in your body. Estrogen is needed to heal what I need healed. Adding an estrogen pill would decrease my already scant milk supply. Using a medicine to help the milk supply would do nothing to help fix me. So what do I do?
I wanted so badly to nurse Poppy to give her the best possible start. But, with her being a NICU baby, and with the almost unbearable stress of losing Spyder, neither she nor I ever caught on to true breastfeeding. I have been trying to supply her with expressed milk, but she gets maybe one bottle a day from me, and even that gets fortified with formula.
Also, I really want to feel better. I want to be able to carry her around the house without wincing. I need to be able to stand in place for more than two minutes or sit on my office chair for more than five.
I feel terribly torn between what is best for Poppy and what is good for me.
On a lighter note, today, March 14th, is National Save a Spider Day - the arachnid kind of course! I hope you did your part to thank nature's insect control specialists!